Cocaine is a helluva drug....

So there I was...

3am in the morning, strung out on cocaine and opiates watching some cheesy crime show called "I Almost Got Away With It" on Netflix. It was early November 2011 and little did I know that I was about to have one of the most subtle, yet profound epiphanies of my life.

As I sat bogged down by the weight of shame, guilt and paranoia I heard a quiet yet clear voice bubble up from the depths of my soul.

"What the FUCK are you doing?" it said. "Look at who you've become...You're strung out on drugs, barely eating, selling massive amounts of weed and totally ruining your life. You know there's so much more for you and you're completely flushing it all down the goddamned toilet."

I was awestruck. What the fuck was I doing?This thought had crossed my mind before for sure, but for some reason this time it struck me like a bolt of lightning. I didn't just "get" it conceptually. I finally understood it at a deep level. I felt it at my core.

Why did it stick at that moment you might ask?I think I have some ideas. Namely that I was literally withering away of malnutrition, hanging with shady characters and risking an overdose on a daily basis. I was a fucking wreck.

It was do or die time.

The next morning I called my parents up and asked for help...

Asked for the help they'd been desperately trying to give me for the past 7 years.

The help I had rejected after two inpatient rehabs, multiple visits to jail and being held up at gunpoint.It was time to figure my shit out and go make something of myself.

I needed to detox and get the fuck out of dodge, but where? Where did I want to go? What should I do to overcome this beast of addiction that I'd let take over my life for the last 7 years?After a lot of thought and deliberation I landed on....Iowa.

I know, I know you're probably thinking Iowa? Wtf is in Iowa?

We'll dive into that in the next email. Stay tuned!

With Gratitude,

Cole "The Colemination" Blackburn